Thursday Think Tank Prompt--Poets United
Long Walk
After the rain I walk on old train tracks
the air is damp, my breath is deep
cedars glisten in the gray sky
Along these tracks I feel no fear
the old trains stopped long ago
The Coast
Two A.M.
A last saloon nearly closed
On a curb a woman sits, head in her hands
Softly she says:
My boy is on the coast,
lost to drugs,
A bartender turns away and locks the saloon doors
The glass shakes against the wind
SC: I wrote these two poems a number of weeks ago. I made a couple of revisions to the second poem, and it fits the theme.
cul de sac
1 month ago
14 comments:
Old train tracks - end of glory.
The old trains may have stopped long ago, but their ghosts still run along those tracks. Nice pieces.
Great poems! Provided me with some intense thoughts.
Both powerful pieces that speak of loss
and things outside our control..great job!
I love your poems about life...as it is.
Interesting concept.I enjoyed it.:)
Your first piece gives me a feeling of empowerment; makes me want to walk across abandoned train tracks. The second is sad and urban, like social commentary.
Love the second especially, and fear isn't even mentioned - although the shaking glass talks loudly... Both poems make me feel I'm right there.
Excellent work SC.
These pieces definitely trigger some thought provoking imagery...felt
Poignant and powerful picture of the mourning mother......haunting last line. Really powerful in its understatement. Good work!
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/31/halloween-party-at-jingle-poetry-monday-poetry-potluck-tomorrow/
Happy Halloween to you. Our Halloween potluck is open,
Post a poem on Halloween, or share an old poem unrelated to the theme, link in. that’s how you get the best result of feedback.
Feel free to take any awards from this post, enjoy!
xxx
insightful words. well done.
S.C,
Both excellent pieces of emotional and powerful writing.
Fear could be sensed....
Best wishes, Eileen
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