See, I got these pains that twist me deep inside. They come in the night, through dreams masked no more. I'm revealed and scorned by those I've hurt. They wail in satisfaction at the pain they now cause. I beg, I ask, for forgiveness and mercy for a mind they agonize. But all they know is weakness and revenge, so I stay awake and fight them the best I can. But they have allies in sleepy eyes, so my will gives in. I'll ask once more for that forgiveness, but I expect a hurtful 'no'. So I'll wait till their sleepy eyes tie them down, then I'll give them the same.
Sometimes when I'm down. When despair weighs on me like all the world's suffering, I pick up this yellow Square Corner. I'll wear it like a shroud; wrap it around my face and press it tight against my silent lips and listen to Heroes...I wish you could swim, like dolphins, like dolphins can swim...then nothing, then nothing can keep us together...
When Bowie's song is done, I can remember, standing by the wall. Then I remember the Square Corner is my shroud, and I release it, a hero for just one day.
I've pursued many things in my life. Words, sentences, beautiful stanzas in high heels and bejeweled decolletage. I've pursued the stories of others in all their glory and shame, sorrows and hopes.
But there are things I haven't pursued. Like my own words and sentences. Sadly, that has made the difference.
Poetry Pantry #363
45 minutes ago