Sunday, April 11, 2010

Weinberg Dies of Gunshot Wounds
Dwarf Sepratist Group Claims Responsibility

(AP)April 9, 2010. Manny Weinberg, 87, died of gunshot wounds he recieved on April 5th at the corner of Bank St. and Despair. The ex-middle weight left the Carney Gym which he managed at 11pm. Moments later he was struck by numerous bullets to his torso from a moving car. Witnesses say the car was filled with dwarfs firing rifles.

The Square Corner News Network (SCNN) has reported receiving a video tape from a dwarf separatist group claiming responsibilty for the shooting of Mr. Weinberg. A hooded dwarf read a prepared statement from the Front for The Liberation of Small People (FLSP). The spokeperson for the group called for a new homeland for dwarfs, in order to protect their distinct way of life and stature. No reason was given for the killing of Mr. Weinberg.

Meanwhile, at the Carney Gym, both current and former fighters met to commerate the life of Manny Weinberg. The room was somber with boxers wearing typewriter ribbons around their arms in memory of their former mentor and trainer. A large poster with the words "God Damn it!" hung from the ceiling in this decaying building in neglected part of the city.

Flyweight Miquel de Knuckles spoke tearfully of Mr. Weingberg, "He good man. Dwarf do this, we take revenge."

Police have not reported any leads or arrests in the killing. There are increased patrols in the dwarf neighbourhood, where tensions are running high.

The alter ego of the Square Corner, Tortelli, could not be reached for comment. No word yet on the funeral for Mr. Weinberg.


Anonymous said...

This tale is like getting a typewriter up the side of the head, or a solid left hook from Manny.

Bang - Monday begins!

Dr. Olsonmics

Anonymous said...

This is an unbelievable tragedy. My immediate tendency is hate on all things dwarf. I passed a dwarf guy on the way to work and almost grabbed him by the throat and shouted "you ba$tards killed Manny!" This is irrational. A radical dwarf group is responsible for this, I have to believe that most dwarves don't think like this. I think Manny had even trained a dwarf for some exhibition fights. RIP Manny.


Fisheye Lens said...

the little people are looking to get some agency attributed to them