Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thursday Think Tank Prompt--Poets United

Long Walk
After the rain I walk on old train tracks
the air is damp, my breath is deep
cedars glisten in the gray sky
Along these tracks I feel no fear
the old trains stopped long ago

The Coast
Two A.M.
A last saloon nearly closed
On a curb a woman sits, head in her hands
Softly she says:
My boy is on the coast,
lost to drugs,

A bartender turns away and locks the saloon doors
The glass shakes against the wind

SC: I wrote these two poems a number of weeks ago. I made a couple of revisions to the second poem, and it fits the theme.

14 comments:

Old Ollie said...

Old train tracks - end of glory.

Eric Alder said...

The old trains may have stopped long ago, but their ghosts still run along those tracks. Nice pieces.

Meandu said...

Great poems! Provided me with some intense thoughts.

imaginationlane said...

Both powerful pieces that speak of loss
and things outside our control..great job!

Mary said...

I love your poems about life...as it is.

umapoems said...

Interesting concept.I enjoyed it.:)

Juice Box said...

Your first piece gives me a feeling of empowerment; makes me want to walk across abandoned train tracks. The second is sad and urban, like social commentary.

gospelwriter said...

Love the second especially, and fear isn't even mentioned - although the shaking glass talks loudly... Both poems make me feel I'm right there.

Human Paradox said...

Excellent work SC.

Dasuntoucha said...

These pieces definitely trigger some thought provoking imagery...felt

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Poignant and powerful picture of the mourning mother......haunting last line. Really powerful in its understatement. Good work!

Jingle Poetry said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/31/halloween-party-at-jingle-poetry-monday-poetry-potluck-tomorrow/

Happy Halloween to you. Our Halloween potluck is open,
Post a poem on Halloween, or share an old poem unrelated to the theme, link in. that’s how you get the best result of feedback.
Feel free to take any awards from this post, enjoy!
xxx

Jingle Poetry said...

insightful words. well done.

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

S.C,
Both excellent pieces of emotional and powerful writing.
Fear could be sensed....

Best wishes, Eileen